Marie Meagher
As a Public Health Nurse and Lactation Consultant here is South Tipperary, Ireland I was fortunate to undertake the NBO course which was brought here by Kevin, Dianna and Emily whom were all so passionate about the topic, it engaged the whole audience from the start.
I had already, a deep interest in Infant mental health following the master class and continued participation in the IMH professionals’ group. The NBO was a way I could show mums how their babies are communicating with them, letting babies show what they liked and disliked, how their babies were aware, and how they liked to be soothed, comforted or left alone. This involved the parents and myself learning from the baby so a wonderful approach to not only show how the baby communicates with us but also allows me to discover this in partnership with the parents. This in turn enhanced the parent’s confidence in caring for their baby and transitioning to their new parental role. In carrying out the NBO with parents it was a privilege to see what a baby could show us and how the parent and myself learned from them. It was fantastic to see how much the parent was able to say about what the baby liked and disliked and only they were aware of this mutual reaction between their baby and themselves, a most unique relationship and so utterly dependent on a mutual rapport. I was mostly working with these dyads from a breastfeeding aspect, and was able to introduce the NBO at appropriate times to instill further a level of competence and confidence in the parent from a deep understanding of, and communication with their baby.
The often-seen vulnerability of the new breastfeeding mother can be magnified when challenges arise with breastfeeding. To support the mother to overcome such challenges along with an understanding of their baby’s communication takes the focus from the problem to finding out what supports the mother to see what works for her baby. The breastfeeding relationship is a grounding and overwhelming experience, it allows the mother to connect with her baby on so many levels and provides a unique bond between mother and baby. The NBO further nourishes this relationship and understanding. When a mother describes her baby as “unsettled or colicky” I have used aspects of the NBO again to let the baby lead and show the mum and myself what the baby finds difficult and what makes them more relaxed. Again, taking the focus from the negative, it then allows the mother to interpret what works for the baby.
At times and despite best efforts, a mother may not reach what her original breastfeeding goal was, she may have had to continue to supplement her baby for instance, this can be difficult for some mothers to come to terms with, they often see it very negatively and as a loss. Introducing the NBO here I have found helps to refocus the mother’s interpretation of her baby’s issues and better understand her baby by following her baby’s lead. I have found this especially helpful for mums who feel their babies don’t sleep very well, they see this as a huge challenge. When we go through the sleeping pattern it often involves short cat naps where expectations were collective hours of sleep, again with an NBO focus on the baby changing states the mum and myself interpret the baby may be a light sleeper and sometimes the mum might suggest this perhaps mimic Dads or her pattern of sleep. The mother discovers from her baby that he/she likes to be awake and engaging with the mum, this helped this mother to see her baby as a little individual and we worked on ways she could reclaim some sleep and took the focus from trying to make the baby sleep to engaging more with the baby during alert periods.
At breastfeeding support groups when doing floor time and sometimes with babies at all different ages and stages I would demonstrate with a doll, talking to baby, getting eye contact then going from side to side to allow baby to follow. I did this in a generalized manner suggesting each baby would do at different stages, if baby was tired it perhaps was an indication to try later, and the main focus was the eye contact and talking to baby with the movement to work on slowly at baby’s pace. This often worked lovely in a small group setting with each mum interpreting their babies states of engagement and readiness. While it did not involve any huge interpretations, it engaged the mother and baby in communicative states introducing the mum and baby this simple interaction and allowed the mother to see her own baby’s uniqueness. I didn’t tend to dwell and very much just went with the interactions taking place.
Unfortunately, all the groups and one to one interaction quickly came to a halt with COVID 19 and I was really only beginning on the small groups work. Virtual interactions are where I am at presently. I will hopefully get back to one to one NBOs and groups work going forward. It has been a hugely positive experience to be part of the NBO and it had been both enhancing and positive for the parents I have worked with. An immense thanks to Kevin, Dianna and Emily for bringing the NBO to us here in South Tipperary.”
Marie Meagher RGN, RM, PHN, IBCLC, South Tipperary Primary Care, Ireland
